


Mother Dearest

by hearttail



Series: Miscellaneous Good Omens/Lucifer Crossovers [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Crowley and Aziraphale are Married, Lucifer loves his little brother but both are bad with feelings, Mostly the Goddess's antics in season 2, Only the Archangels are siblings and children of God and the Goddess, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Stubborn Crowley (Good Omens), The Goddess is terrible, The Goddess wants her sons to return to heaven, They haven't really talked since the Crucifixion and both think the other hates them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearttail/pseuds/hearttail
Summary: In an attempt to divert his Mother's attention away from himself, Lucifer inadvertently sicks her on Crowley. Crowley who just wants to live his post Armageddon life just want to be left alone. The Goddess has other plans.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & The Goddess, Crowley (Good Omens) & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Series: Miscellaneous Good Omens/Lucifer Crossovers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940806
Comments: 72
Kudos: 797





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, the Goddess continually calls Crowley "Raphael" despite being told not to. If that's going to bother you, proceed with caution. I just wanted to put a warning just to be safe. If there's anything else any of you need me to include warnings for and I'll be happy to add them.

It was, Lucifer realized as he reflected back on the interaction, at least partially his fault. He hadn’t meant to let it slip that his youngest brother was on earth but… 

“Raphael’s here?” the Goddess asked her voice tinged with something like hope and excitement. Lucifer winced. He shouldn’t have mentioned that. He had just wanted to push some of Her attention away from him and had inadvertently shoved his baby brother under the metaphorical celestial bus that was their Mother.

“Well,  _ Raphael _ hasn’t used that name in six thousand years. He goes by Crowley now and last I was aware he was in London and not interested in any chance of dealing with heaven.”

“He changed his name? Why would he ever want to do that?” 

“Well getting backhanded out of heaven by Father might have something to do with it,” Lucifer said, cold humor staining his voice.

Mother’s face morphed into shock. “Raphael Fell?”

“The same time the rest of us did.” Lucifer said. So Crowely really hadn’t been kidding about heaven assuming he was still out in the stars. Even the Goddess had been fooled by Father’s lies.

“Well then just as much we need to get him to come home with us!” She insisted. “He needs his family!”

“Yes, well good luck with that,” Lucifer said. He held back a snort. Crowley “needing” any of them couldn’t be much farther from the truth. “I think he’d sooner chug holy water than make amends with our oh so perfect family.”

“Well you didn’t think Amenadiel would want to either!” She argued. “I’ll convince Raphael as well!”

“Well obviously you won’t let me stop you but I will warn you it’s a fantastically bad idea.” 

“Well you're going to help me,” She said as though it should be obvious.

“I absolutely will not,” Lucifer scoffed.

“Well why not?” the Goddess scoffed, verging on petulant now.

“Well we haven’t exactly been on the best of terms the past few thousand years and certainly not within the past six. Not after Armageddon.”

“It couldn’t possibly be bad enough that he won’t at least see us!”   
“It absolutely is. I can assure you. Last time he was in contact, it was made clear he wanted nothing to do with me or Hell  _ at least _ ! I don’t think he’d be any more keen on talking to anyone from heaven. Probably even less so!” 

The Goddess stared at him for a long moment “What’s the real reason you won’t help me get Raphael to come home?” She asked.

Well fine, if he had to actually admit this, maybe it would be enough for her to back off. 

“Because  _ Crowely _ ,” he emphasized the name, “has caused the literal fall of empires and I don’t want those particular skills directed at myself!“

She scoffed “This is Raphael we’re talking about. Surely it can’t be  _ that  _ bad.”

“It  _ isn’t _ Raphael we’re talking about! Raph died the same as Samael did! We’re talking about a demon whose job for six thousand years has been to tempt humanity into the various attrocities they’ve accomplished. A demon that revels in the chaos he creates and wouldn’t think twice about turning it against you or me or all of bloody heaven and hell!”

“We’ll see about that,” She said before turning and walking out.

Lucifer sighed. Well, he had tried his best. Anything that happened after this wouldn’t be on him, at least.

Raphael was much harder to find than the Goddess had expected. It had been easy enough to get to London; everything was easy enough when you had money and a body like hers. Humans were so easy to convince. 

But once she had gotten to the city, it had been impossible to actually figure out where he lived. She had found Lucifer by asking anyone She came across where he might be. That wasn’t working. It seemed like there was something blocking Her from finding Her son.

It must have been pure luck that She was in that park when she saw a flash of red hair.

For a while, She watched from a distance. She could tell that Raphael was wearing large dark glasses over his eyes. His clothes were all black, save for the lightly colored scarf he wore despite the heat.

His hair was shorter than she had ever seen it, sticking up tall above his head instead of falling in curls down his back.

He was walking with a white haired man. His arm was wrapped over the man’s shoulder and the man had an arm wrapped around Raphael’s waist. They leaned on on another in a way that could not possibly have been very conducive to walking properly.

A small flock of human children, it looked like five older ones and one small one, walked near them before all running off. 

Raphael raised a hand to his mouth and yelled something to the kids. One of them turned and waved a hand dismissively, saying something in response before following the others. 

The white haired man poked Raphael in the shoulder and said something that made him laugh, head thrown back and a big grin overtaking his face. 

They shared a brief kiss before continuing on their way to the waterside.

The Goddess continued watching, waiting for a chance to get Her son alone. She didn’t wait long, after only a few minutes, Raphael turned to his partner and seemed to ask a question. The man beamed and nodded and leaned in for another brief kiss. It seemed strange how happy those small kisses made them both. How could something so short bring either of them such pleasure?

Raphael walked up the path with an odd gliding movement to his hips. It didn’t look very comfortable moving like that. He seemed to be walking toward some kind of vendor. 

Sensing her opportunity, She moved. She walked up behind him, just out of an arms reach. “Raphael?” She said softly, only barely loud enough to hear.

Raphael jolted as if struck, he whirled around with a snarl and a hiss, brandishing a bent metal rod in one hand. The other hand held his fingers together as if ready to snap.

His face slipped from threatening, to afraid, to wary, to confused then through several more emotions She couldn’t quite decipher with those glasses in place.

Very slowly he relaxed his hand and lowered the arm but didn’t drop the metal thing in his hand. “I haven’t been Raphael in more than ssix thousand years,” he said coolly. His voice was different, almost huskier than it used to be. She tried to ignore the slight hiss in his words. His tone betrayed no emotion. He just stared at her, mouth set in a straight thin line. “What do you want?”

Her heart cracked, She knew this was Her son, but he was so different. Raphael never would have held this cold indifference like this. 

“My son!” She said, reaching out to him “My Raphael!”

He took several steps away from her and snarled again. The expression didn’t seem right on her youngest son’s face. It was almost painful to see.

“Don’t call me that!” he snapped. “Raphael died in the Fall. Now, why are you here?”

“I just wanted to see you,” she said softly. No use in diving straight in. Judging from his initial reaction it wouldn’t be as easy to convince him to come home as she had planned. 

He arched an eyebrow. Clearly not believing her. 

That stung. That he would be so distrustful of her. It’s not like she had done anything to earn that distrust. She had expected that from Lucifer, not Raphael. Raphael who had always been so kind and open and trusting.

“Jussst tell me what you want so I can go about my day, please,” he said, something that sounded like resignation filled his voice. 

She debated another moment, deciding whether to try to ease into it or dive straight in. “I want you to come back to heaven with us!” She said. 

“No. Great talking with you. See you never.” He turned to go, shoving his hands in his pockets which seemed far too small for any logical reason.

“Raphael!” She said, starting to get angry at her son’s dismissive attitude.

He spun around. “Call me that again and it’ll be the last word I hear you speak. Call me Crowley or don’t talk to me.” His shoulders were drawn back and his back was straight. She hadn’t even realized that he had been slouching until the change in posture happened.

She stared at him, wide eyed for half a moment then nodded. “If that’s what it takes to make you listen, then fine,” She said.

Raphael’s face twitched but he didn’t respond to her remark. Instead he asked “who’s ‘us’? And why the great bloody  _ fuck _ would I go back to heaven?”

“It’s- it’s our  _ home _ ! Why wouldn’t you want to go back?” It didn’t make sense! This was all She’d wanted since being sent to Hell, to see Her children again. Why wouldn’t Raphael feel the same way?

His smile turned into something sharp and bitter “Heaven hasn’t exactly been ‘home’ since I got cast out. Not so much welcoming of demons up there. More of a ‘kill on sight’ policy, really!”

“They’re your family!” The goddess was horrified. It couldn’t possibly be that bad! 

“My  _ family _ is here on earth. My  _ home  _ is here on earth. Claim blood and history all you want. That’s not gonna change!”

“First Lucifer and now you!” She cried in exasperation “What could possibly be so great on earth and humans that you’d abandon your real family.”

“People who genuinely love and respect me for starters,” Raphael said, both eyebrows going up slightly. The Goddess was about to argue that he had that in heaven but he continued speaking before she could. “My husband, whom I love more than anything in the  _ whole of creation _ .”

She blinked. Husband? “You mean the soft man you came here with?” Raphael‘s face twitched but he said nothing just nodded. She glanced over his shoulder. “The one being accosted by geese?”

“Accosted by-? Pffha!” Raphael turned to see the white haired man entirely surrounded by water foul, holding a bag of frozen peas above his head and trying to gently shoo them away. He started to laugh and bit down on his knuckles to stifle it, still failing to hide the smile on his face. “Yes. Yes that would be the one.”

As if feeling their eyes on him, the man looked up. He glared at Raphael who gave a little grin and wiggled his fingers at him. The man’s look turned into something more like a pout and Raphael laughed again before snapping his fingers. The geese dispersed enough that they were no longer crowding around Raphael’s apparent husband.

Great. First Chloe and now this man. Another obstacle to getting Her sons to come home. Maybe she could at least kill this one without anyone here to stop her.

“Really?” She asked, already scheming to drive them apart. It couldn’t possibly be that difficult. Raphael had never had interest in anyone like this before. It had to be flimsy enough to break. “He hardly seems worthy of an archangel!”

Raphael spun to face her, lips curled back in a snarl, teeth now sharper than they had been a moment before. His hand came up to his face and pulled his glasses off. The Goddess gasped and the fully serpentine yellow that had replaced the original soft gold. “Good thing I’m not an Archangel then, isn’t it?  _ Thank God _ for that!”

The Goddess found herself unable to speak. Lucifer has said he was a demon but She hadn’t truly realized… 

She opened Her mouth to respond but couldn’t quite find the words. She was saved from having to respond by a small human running up to them, clearly unable to read the tension between the two.

“Crowley!” The human ran up and grabbed Raphael’s hand. She barely came up to his waist. Smaller than either of the children She pretended were Hers as Charlotte Richards. The child pulled on Raphael’s arm rather insistently. “Crowley you need to help me!”

Raphael’s face immediately softened as he looked down at the small human. “Oh this must be serious!” he said, kneeling down to be eye level with her. “What seems to be the problem?” 

“We’re playing hide and seek and Adam and Warlock are it and I don’t have a spot!”

Really? That was the problem the human child was facing that was so urgent? The reason she was interrupting such an important discussion? A foolish game?

The Goddess glanced at Raphael, sure that he’d brush the child off. That would certainly be reasonable. There was certainly no reason to humor it.

But Raphael nodded seriously, expression grave. “That is a big problem,” he said. Not a hint of joking or sarcasm in his voice. “What do you need from me, then? Could throw you into those bushes there? Or into the water with the ducks?”

“No!” the child cried. Raphael grinned at her. “Please?” she asked, though it seemed to be something else now. “Please? Please, please,  _ please _ ?” she was getting louder with each word and tugging on Raphael’s jacket sleeve rather insistently. “Please Crowley they’re coming!” 

She glanced back and the Goddess followed her gaze. Two human boys were coming along the path. The shorter one had dark, shoulder length hair and appeared rather broad shouldered. The taller of the two was thin with curly blond hair. They were looking around with what seemed to be rather dramatic movements. 

Raphael looked at them too.

Finally, still grinning, he heaved an overly dramatic sigh. “Yes alright fine. Get on then.” He turned his back to her slightly and she climbed on, wrapping little arms around his neck. 

Well what was that supposed to do? It not like-

There was a small  _ whoosh! _ and Raphael’s largest set of wings materialized. He shifted them so that the human was covered on his back, though her arms were still visible and dangled near his throat. 

A few moments later the human boys walked up to them. “Crowley,” the dark haired one said. “Have you seen Tracer anywhere? We can’t quite find her!” He said this while staring at the short slender arms visible around Raphael’s neck and biting back a grin. 

“Nope! Haven’t seen her!” There were very obvious giggles coming from beneath the feathers on Raphael’s back. 

The Goddess was about to point this out when the boy loudly and exaggeratedly said “Well, guess she’s not here then! Better go look elsewhere!” He started walking but turned back after a few steps. “Adam?” 

The blond boy had not made to follow. He was staring rather intently at the Goddess. He had been since they walked up. At the sound of the other human’s voice, this one glanced at Rahael, who made a series of gestures with his hands. The blond boy’s eyes widened before he nodded and, with one last glance at the Goddess, went to go join the other boy. Raphael watched them leave with an expression that could only be described as  _ fond _ .

A moment later the small human dropped from Raphael’s back and landed on her feet. “Thank you Crowley!” she said.

Raphael bent down as he tucked his wings away once more. “You’re very welcome, dear,” he said, warmth radiating from his voice. “Now,” he snapped his fingers and something that vaguely resembled a gun, though this one was very large, brightly colored, and obviously plastic. “This is for when they find you. Now go have some fun” 

The human made a high pitched noise of excitement before wrapping her arms around Raphael again. She took the “gun” and ran off.

He finally turned back to the Goddess. The tension in his posture had melted but his eyes, still visible, were like steel. 

She stared back at him with horror. “You- you would actually choose  _ that _ over your family!” She said incredulously. “You  _ choose _ to have those little monsters called children?”

“They  _ are _ my family,” he growled. “More than anyone in heaven or hell.”

“But  _ children? _ ” She pressed. “Why could you possibly want any of those? The human I’ve been posing as has two of them and I would certainly send them away if I could.”   
“Shocking,” Raphael said, tone and expression blank as he stared at Her.

They both turned at the sound of screaming. The small human was on an older girl’s shoulders. The older one was running after the two boys while the younger one pointed the strange gun at them. It seemed to be spraying them with water. Both were screaming wat sounded like a battle cry. Two other boys were following behind with smaller versions of the “water”gun, attempting to fire them at the two girls.

Raphael’s expression had slipped into something worse than fond. Now it was  _ pride _ . “I’d choose this over anything. Now if you’ll excuse me.” And he sauntered off without even a backwards glance. 

The Goddess watched as Raphael rejoined his  _ husband _ who gave him a concerned look and brushed a hand against his face. Raphael put his hand over his husband’s, gave a small but genuine smile, and said something She couldn’t hear. They linked hands and walked off.

The Goddess was left standing there, wondering how to start convincing Her son to return home.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Goddess tries to convince her son to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: 
> 
> Throughout: The Goddess continues to think of and nearly call Crowley Raphael despite everyone else simply calling him Crowley.
> 
> Only a section (Warning put at beginning and end of whole scene even if the content is only a small part.
> 
> *CW Mild Mentions of implied homophobia.  
> **CW Non consensual kiss; very brief and not graphic  
> ***CW Violence, blood; not very graphic and assumed character death
> 
> I don't think any of these are too bad but just to be safe I will include summaries of the sections in the end notes if you need them.

*CW 

The Goddess decided she needed more information before she could choose how to proceed. She followed Raphael and his husband and the children away from the park to a rundown and rather dull looking building with  _ A.Z FELL AND CO. _ painted on the front. Seemingly connected to this shop was another one:  _ The Garden of Eden. _ She felt a stab of annoyance at that. So connected with Her husband's playthings it was almost sickening. 

She watched as people filtered in and out of both shops. Nobody seemed to leave  _ Fell’s _ with anything but anyone who left  _ Eden _ , left with plants of some kind in their hands, ranging from bouquets of flowers to potted cacti.

Some of those entering  _ Fell’s _ seemed to have a wider variety of hair color than she had seen in most humans. She may not have known much about human biology but she doubted pink and blue and green were entirely natural. 

The Goddess grabbed one girl with purple hair and a ring in her nose as she left the run down looking shop. 

“Excuse me,” She started. “I was wondering if you could tell me about the  _ fine _ establishment you just came out of?”

“Oh, Mr. Fell’s book shop?” the girl asked.

“Bookshop?” the Goddess asked, almost incredulous. Raphael was married to someone invested in something so unbelievably  _ dull _ ?And choosing  _ that _ over heaven? This place seemed  _ terrible _ ! If Raphael liked the books, She was sure there were many of them in heaven. No use staying here instead!

“Well technically,” the girl said, pulling the Goddess out of Her spiraling outrage. “But everyone knows you don’t go there for the books. Mr. Fell actually gets kinda scary if you actually try to buy one. No, you go there if you need help. Sort of the Guardian of Soho in a way. When my parents kicked me out he found me a place to stay! Helped my partner with some stuff too!”

The Goddess reluctantly admitted to Herself that that made some sense why Raphael might like a person like that, even if she still loathed the idea. Her son always had been far too soft hearted. Of course he would like someone who wanted to help children in need.

“Plus!” the girl continued with a grin, “Sometimes his husband, Mr. Crowely, will give you a plant, either to take home and take care of or to ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ ‘definitely not throw at whoever is causing your problems.’” She held up a potted succulent that fit in the palm of her hand. 

“And how long has this ‘Mr. Fell’ been here? And,” she had to pause a moment “‘Mr. Crowley’?”

“Oh Mr. Fell’s been here as long as anyone can remember. Mr. Crowley was about as long if not as constant until they got married a few years ago.”

The Goddess sighed in frustration. Really! Getting married! And without parental approval! So unbelievably irresponsible of him.

“Thank you. You’ve been most insightful,” She said to the human.

And she had. This place must be important to Raphael if he had spent so long here. Maybe She could use that. It might be time to attempt some of the methods she had on Lucifer, hopefully with more success this time. It should certainly be easier. She did not have as many people breathing down her neck here.

“Why are you asking?” the girl asked. The Goddess hadn’t realized she was still standing there.

“Oh I’m a … family member of … Crowley’s. I’m just checking in on him.”

The girl’s face slid to an expression almost like guilt and horror. “Right. Of course,” the girl said. She turned and dashed into  _ The Garden of Eden _ , almost like she was fleeing. Well that was certainly odd.

The Goddess had started to walk away when  _ Eden _ ’s door flew open. Raphael stood there, lips curled back to reveal too sharp teeth and those infernal glasses still firmly in place over his eyes. He looked positively  _ livid _ .

He closed the distance between them in three strides and grabbed Her arm. She blinked and they were back in the park She had first found him in. 

“What the  _ actual fuck _ do you think you’re doing?” he hissed.

“Don’t speak to me that way. I am your  _ mother _ !”

“I’ll speak to you however I bloody well please! What are you doing accosting teenagers outside of my shop?”

“I simply wanted to learn more about your life here,” the Goddess said. “You didn’t seem all that open to much discussion after our last talk. I took matters into my own hands. What I Don’t understand is why the human reacted so badly to knowing I was your family.”

Raphael smiled in bitter amusement. “Maybe because some of these kids understand that family doesn’t always have your best interests at heart.”

“I do-“

He cut Her off “No You don’t. You have Your own selfish reasons and no regard for Your child’s happiness and general wellbeing.”

“I think you’re being a tad over dramatic.”

“I’m not. Heaven’s even crueler than it was. I’m not going back to that. It would eviscerate whatever is left of my soul. I’m not doing that. Ever. Promise.” 

Raphael turned and walked away. Then she blinked and he was gone.

Spite welled up inside Her. Her son clearly didn’t know what he needed. She just needed to help him see his attachments here couldn’t compare to those in heaven.

“We’ll see about that.”

END OF *CW

— 

She returned to the bookshop, careful to stay far enough away to not be noticed. She waited until the shop’s apparent closing, then even longer for Raphael and “Mr. Fell” to leave as well. They seemed deep in pleasant conversation as they got into a large black car that took off at speeds that would scare even Lucifer.

The first step, She had decided was getting rid of Raphael’s physical home. Then hope that would be enough to destabilize the rest of the other things keeping him here.

That girl had said it was a bookshop so a lighter should be sufficient. No need for a demolitions expert this time.

The Goddess willed the door open and stepped inside. 

The interior was much like the outside. Rundown and rather unimpressive. It smelled musty and dust coated everything. Books cluttered every shelf and table in sight. Piles of papers scattered across the floor. She’d start there.

The lighter flicked but didn’t light. She tried several more times with the same effect. 

Strange. It had worked moments before. 

The Goddess brought out the matches she had brought as a back up. She struck one and was delighted when the flame actually caught. Then She felt what seemed like the force of a truck ram into Her chest. The next thing She knew, She was standing outside, covered in strange white powder, pain screaming through Her body, and not quite sure how she got there.

Outrage pulsed in Her veins. 

_ What was that? _

She put Her hand on the door handle to re-enter but drew back quickly. The metal he’d  _ burned _ Her! She put Her hand to the wood to try and force the door open but jumped back again. When She looked, her hand was an angry, burnt red.

Had she succeeded? She didn’t see any smoke but that heat had to mean  _ something _ . 

The Goddess decided to leave it. She wasn’t sure when Raphael would be back and didn’t want to risk him finding Her like this. 

She slipped away and decided to check back in the morning

— 

“Looking for fire damage?” 

The voice made the Goddess jump and turn around. Raphael was standing mere inches behind Her, arms crossed and mouth drawn tight in an angry line.

She had, in fact, been looking for fire damage on the building. There was none. Not even the faintest wisp of smoke in the air. 

“What would make you think that?” She asked, voice lilting up slightly, trying for surprised innocence. There was no way Raphael could know what she had done, right? Nobody had been around.

“Have any idea how much energy I put into fire suppression in this place?” He gestured to the bookshop. “A lot. You can’t even light a damn candle in there.”

“Well what else am I supposed to do?” She snapped. 

“Not try to burn my home to the ground? What if I had been in there! Dying means getting sent to the deepest pits of hell with no hope of escape.”

“You’re being a tad dramatic.”

“I’m not.”

“Well, You continue to refuse to return to heaven with us! If I could show you the meaninglessness of all of this-“ She waved her hand distastefully “human drivel, I might be able to-“

“Shatter my soul?” Raphael asked, almost lightly. “That's what you’d be doing. Worst day of my life was watching that shop burn. You want to cause that? Great parenting.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. Raphael seemed to realize this.

“Right. Enjoy your flight back to America then.” And he turned and went back into the bookshop.

The Goddess felt another wave of frustration. Raphael was supposed to be easier than Lucifer to convince. She was just going to have to try something else then.

— 

Raphael had seemed to care very deeply for the kids She had seen in the park. That was Her next step.

Now hurting kids seemed reprehensible, even to Her. That didn’t mean she couldn’t bring some information to their attention. Information of the demonic variety. If the humans reject him, Raphael wouldn’t have any reason to stay here. He would be forced to come back to heaven. 

It was only the two boys she found, the ones the little girl had called Adam and Warlock, not the entire pack of them but that would be enough. 

They were sitting in front of a small cafe. The one called Adam was reading a book with one hand and petting a small dog behind the ears with the other. The one She assumed was called Warlock was looking at something on his computer. Every once in a while one of them would say something and the other would laugh or say something in return.

The Goddess took a step towards them. She jumped when Adam’s head snapped towards Her. Too knowing eyes bore into her. Her plan suddenly seemed inadequate. The boy didn’t break eye contact but waved.

It was like a spell being broken. She made her way forward, still feeling wrong footed but determined in her mission. 

“Hello,” Adam said. His tone was milder than she had been expecting. Not unpleasant. Bordering on curiosity. “You’re Crowley’s mother.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Yes!” She said, not sure whether to be pleased or upset that they already knew. “And you’re his…” She really wasn’t sure. Raphael obviously cared for these humans but the exact nature of the relationship was unclear.

“Godkid,” Adam said.

“Son in all but name,” Warlock said. The Goddess glanced at him. While Adam looked at Her with no ill intent, Warlock seemed only a few shades below hostile. She hadn’t even  _ done  _ anything yet! What warranted that look?

Then the words caught up to her “His  _ what? _ ” 

Warlock shrugged. “Crowley and Ah… Zira did more to raise me than my actual parents.” 

_ Zira. that must be “Mr. Fell”. _

So Warlock was practically Raphael’s  _ son _ ! This was worse than she had thought! It was one thing to care about humans, which even that wasn’t great, but to practically  _ adopt _ one as his own? He really was in too deep here. She would be doing him a favor bringing him back to heaven.

“You both care about him a lot, don’t you.”

“Of course.”

“Obviously.”

“And you know who he is?”

They both blinked at Her, expressions betraying nothing. The dog at Adam’s feet growled. Despite Herself, She was beginning to feel like this was a horrible mistake. Which was ridiculous. These were just two human children. So why did She feel so off.

“You mean like his name?” Adam asked.

“No I mean-“

“Oh shit! Do you know what the ‘J’ in his middle name stands for?” Warlock said, eyes widening. “We’ve been trying to figure it out for  _ years _ ! If it is  _ not _ actually Janthonthy, I owe Brian a  _ lot  _ of money!”

“We have several bets going,” Adam told Her, probably reading the lost expression on Her face.

Middle names? That’s what they concerned themselves with? She was about to tell them something important and earth shattering and they wanted to know about Her son’s fake middle name! Humans were utterly ridiculous.

“I have no idea what my son’s middle name is. I suppose I meant, do you know  _ what _ he is?”

If She didn’t know better, She would have thought the temperature just dropped. 

“What he is?” Adam asked. 

“Well you see, R- er Crowley is a demon.”

Neither boy said anything. They glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes without turning their heads then looked back at Her. They seemed completely unimpressed.

That was  _ not _ the reaction she had been hoping for. She had expected fear. Or at least shock or disbelief. Not just bland disinterest. Maybe they had misunderstood.

“I mean like a  _ real _ demon.” Still no fear or panic. “From Hell.” Nothing.

“He has snake eyes!”

“Well fuck!” Warlock finally yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “I thought that was coloboma!”

Adam started laughing and Warlock followed suit. 

They were  _ laughing at her _ ! She was simply trying to help them and they were laughing! Clearly neither of them understood what she was saying. The severity of it.

“I don’t think you realize what I’m telling you. I mean  _ Crowley _ ” the name still felt odd to use but calling him Raphael wouldn’t do here. “Is a  _ literal demon _ !” More stares “From hell.” Maybe these humans were even stupider than She had thought. They didn’t even seem to understand what a danger demons could be. “He’s caused all kinds of strife throughout history.” The Goddess thought back to what Lucifer had told Her when he had first told Her of Raphael’s fate. “He’s caused entire empires to collapse!” 

The children’s faces sparked not with fear but with  _ interest _ ! Strange humans.

“Do you know which ones?” Adam asked. “I just need the Holy Roman Empire to get bingo.”

She didn’t entirely understand the joke but he said it so casually. Like it didn’t even matter. They knew what demons could do and they still thought there was nothing wrong with that! What was wrong with these humans.

“None- none of this scares you?” She asked, feeling almost  _ almost _ desperate.  _ Something _ had to work to push Raphael back to heaven.

“Ma’am I’ve known that Crowley was a demon for longer than I’ve known what demons are,” Warlock said. “One of my earliest memories is being held— safe and warm— in big black wings. I’d never be scared of Crowley.”

“Plus,” Adam added with a shrug. “’s a bit difficult to be scared of the person who cried when some ducklings imprinted on him. Don’t think he’s really a danger to anyone.”

“You really do mean all of that,” The Goddess said, staring between them.

“Duh!” Warlock said, which She thought was uncalled for.

“And does uhh… Zira know all this?”

Adam laughed. “I would certainly think so! Yes.”

There went the idea of telling the husband about everything and turning him against Raphael.

“Well that’s great then!” She said, trying to sound genuine despite her disappointment. She suddenly felt the very strong urge to leave so She hastily excused herself.

As she was leaving (definitely not running away), Adam spoke very quietly but still holding a startling intensity. “You know Crowely’s really loads smarter than you give ‘im credit for. You’re not gonna convince him of anything.” 

The Goddess wanted to fling back a sharp retort but looking at his calm yet oddly intense blue eyes made Her swallow Her words. Instead, She turned and left.

She was fuming as She walked. What did those children know? Raphael was  _ Her son _ ! She knew him better than they did, surely! She had made a few miscalculations that’s all! She could still win this. She would!

She hadn’t counted on how connected those children would be to Raphael. Nor had she counted on the transparency with which Raphael spoke about himself. They should have been deeply disturbed by the fact that they were keeping company with a demon. Any  _ rational _ human would be. There must be something deeply wrong with these ones. Maybe she could use  _ that _ to get Raphael back to heaven. Convince him he had broken these humans. Maybe he’d feel guilty enough to come back to heaven.

Those kids seemed rather smart though. It might not be the best idea to continue trying to use them. No. She would try the husband. Even if she couldn’t scare him away with the whole ‘demon’ thing, maybe she could prove that this Mr. Fell didn’t deserve Raphael, it would give her a hook to pull her son in by. That’s all she needed. Just one.

— 

**CW

The Goddess waited once again, outside the horrid little book store Raphael was so protective of. As far as She could tell, Raphael and Mr. Fell were the only ones inside. No humans filtered in and out today. She still had to be careful. If she didn’t play this exactly right, it wouldn’t work. So She continued to wait. It was almost dark when Raphael left the building and drove off in the large black car again. 

She moved across the street and entered the shop. That stupid bell rung lightly above her, blowing any kind of stealth or surprise she might have mustered. 

It was just as bad in here as it had been the first time. The musty smell was almost overwhelming. Towering bookshelves and cluttered tables made the entire place feel too small. 

_ Really. How does Raphael live like this? _

Lucifer’s attachment to LUX at least made more sense. It was at least _nice_. But this place hardly seemed worth it.

She was interrupted from her disdain of the place by a kind voice calling from several shelves over. 

“You’re back soon! Is everything alright Darling? Did you forget something? Wallet? Keys? Now really I’ve told you— oh!”

The man had just rounded the last bookshelf and caught sight of the Goddess. He seemed to try and tamp down disappointment in his expression, quickly schooling it into a polite smile.

“Ah hello dear. I’m terribly sorry but I’m afraid we’re closed.”

“That’s quite alright,” She said firmly. “I wasn’t looking to buy one of your … lovely texts. I was hoping to see if I could get your help with something?”

“Oh?” His eyebrows drew together in curiosity.

“You see, I have been having an argument with my son.”

Curiosity quickly burned to protective fury. “If you’re Jax’s mother…”

“No no. None of that. I just need your help convincing him of something.”

Fury had now been replaced by cautious suspicion. Most of the tension had left him when She had assured him she was not the mother of what She presumed to be one of the humans that came here for Mr. Fell’s assistance. 

“What sort of help?” he asked.

She had been slowly closing the distance between them and now took the last step into his space. She straightened the lapels of his coat. “I just need you to stand there and let me prove a point.”

He opened his mouth to protest but She pulled him forward and pressed Her lips to his. Mr. Fell made a noise of outraged protest and tried to pull away but the Goddess held on, continuing trying to coax the man into kissing back. Human men usually gave into this fairly quickly. She just needed a moment. He just needed to kiss back for one moment for her to prove he was unfaithful. That’s all she should need to finally bring her son home.

The bell above the door jingled. Raphael’s voice yelled out “Bollocks bloody tourist! Can’t even-“ he cut himself off, presumably seeing the kissing couple. This worked too, having actually caught the act was actually even better than having to convince him later.

Time stood still for a moment. The Goddess had broken off the kiss and both She and Mr. Fell were staring at Raphael, whose face had turned as red as his hair. Mr. Fell stared at him with a look of panic and guilt. The Goddess allowed a smug smile to play across her lips. 

_ This ought to do it. _

Time started forward again when Raphael finally blew. “ **_What the great bloody fucking shit do you think you’re doing?_ ** ” he screamed.

_ Perfect. Absolutely perfect. _ She thought to Herself with a smile. That was just the rage she needed. This would tip him over the edge.

“Crowley,” Mr. Fell said, sounding strangled.

Raphael surged toward them. She grinned wider when his hand lashed out. But instead of grabbing Mr. Fell, he grabbed  _ Her _ arm. Before She could protest he was shoving Her outside with a hissing snarling threat “ **_Get out!”_ ** he screamed. “ **_And if you_ ** **ever** **_touch my husband again, I’ll fucking destroy you!”_ ** And slammed the door behind Her with enough force that it should have cracked the glass.

The Goddess stood in stunned silence for a moment. That had backfired  _ horribly _ ! She reached a hand to the dood, ready to storm back in. As soon as She touched the door though, She jolted back. It was far worse than when she had tried to burn the building down. He fingers came away slightly blackened and smoking. She tucked her hands underneath her arms and leaned in as mush as she dared, looking into the window.

Raphael was cradling Mr. Fell’s face, stroking his thumbs over cheekbones and just below the eyes. He seemed to be saying something in between light kisses to his husband’s face. Raphael’s expression was one of total love and concern and, unless she was mistaken, guilt.

She couldn’t hear anything but they seemed to speak softly with one another. Eventually, Mr. Fell buried his face in Raphael’s shoulder and Raphael wrapped his arms around him, almost protectively, still continuing to speak. Raphael said something and Mr. Fell nodded. They moved out of the entryway of the bookshop and into a back room, not letting go of one another for a moment.

“Well that sucked!” the Goddess muttered to herself as she walked away. She had not planned on Mr. Fell being so resistant! The men She had dealt with before never were! And Raphael’s reaction seemed disproportionate. She had felt the rage coming off of him in waves! And to just throw Her out like that! He hadn’t even given her a chance to get a word in! And he had t _ hreatened _ Her!

Earth and humanity clearly hadn’t been good for Her kind, gentle Raphael. She had one more option for getting Her son to abandon his life here, she just hoped it worked better than the last few tries.

END OF **CW

— 

*** CW

The Goddess held the knife tight in her hand. She hadn’t really wanted it to come to this but Raphael was being so stubborn he hadn’t left Her a choice. He wasn’t likely to leave Mr. Fell; didn’t see that the man clearly wasn’t worthy of him. So She would just have to take him out herself. Permanently. 

And maybe if his soul went to heaven Raphael would be more keen to go. If his soul went to hell… well hopefully Raphael would see he wasn’t worth it, then. No one could be worth hell! Surely, Raphael wouldn’t go to hell for the man.

She had decided to wait several days after Raphael had shoved her out of the store. She needed him less on guard or else this would all be for nothing.

Now, several days had passed. Mr. Fell was walking alone in semi-darkness. It was several blocks away from the shop, which last she had check was where Raphael would be staying the rest of the night. The street was empty and barely lit. There was no way She would get caught for this.

The Goddess waited around the corner, firmly gripping the blade in her hand. Mr. Fell turned around the corner and started walking in her direction. Before he could even register Her presence, She rushed him, burying the knife hilt deep in his chest. “I need to bring Raphael back to heaven.” She whispered to him.

The man’s eyes widened as his hand went to knife sticking between his ribs. He stared at her, a slew of emotions clouding his face. His mouth opened and he spoke in a gurgling whisper, already drowning in blood. “‘Ss Crowley, Mother.” Then his legs gave out from under him. He fell forward so his body weight pressed the knife deeper into his chest causing blood to flow even more rapidly. 

She gasped as horror hit Her like a tank. Her hands shook as she dropped down next to the man. 

No.

Raphael.

She didn’t know how but Raphael had changed his appearance to match his husband’s. He had known She would try to kill him and took his place! She had just stabbed Her own son!

There was no doubt in Her mind that it truly was her Raphael as She pulled his body into her arms. She couldn’t feel a pulse or breathing. Color was already gone from his face. 

He was dead. 

She had killed him.

He had said that even if his soul didn’t get destroyed, if his body died he would go to hell. There, he would be shoved into the deepest darkest torture pit Hell had, never to see the light of day again. 

And She had sent him there.

She dropped the body, holding a hand to her mouth to keep from… screaming? Sobbing? Vomiting? She wasn’t sure. But She turned and ran. She couldn’t even begin to face what She had done. She booked the fastest flight She could back to LA, wondering how she would be able to face Lucifer and Amenadiel and tell them what had happened.

END OF ***CW

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A girl explains that Aziraphale helps out LGBT+ kids when they need it. And that he helped her and her partner when they each had family problems in the past. Crowley tells the Goddess that a lot of the kids that go to Aziraphale understand that family doesn't always have the child’s best interest at heart.
> 
> The Goddess tries to prove that Aziraphale isn’t worthy because he is unfaithful. She kisses him against his will, trying to get him to escalate it. This fails when Crowley sees and throws out the Goddess and comforts Aziraphale after it happened.
> 
> The Goddess decides the only way to get Crowley back to heaven is to get rid of Aziraphale. She uses a knife and stabs him in the chest, only to realize it was Crowley, masking himself to make him look like Aziraphale. He bleeds out and she runs away to tell Lucifer and Amenadiel. NO MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay after the cliffhanger! Hopefully this smooths things out a bit! :)
> 
> Content warning for imagined blood in this chapter. It involves spoilers for the chapter so If you need to know how to skip it, head down to end notes. 
> 
> I do plan on this being the first part of a series so this is not the end of this story line. Don’t know hen the next part will be up but it will happen eventually!

Lucifer waited until Amenadiel had taken their distraught Mother home before making the decision to call. 

Hours ago, She had stumbled into the penthouse sobbing and near screaming that she had just killed ‘Raphael’. That he hadn’t left Her a choice but to go after his husband (Lucifer, of course, knew about that relationship. After Armageddon, everyone in heaven and hell knew about  _ that _ ) and that she had stabbed him in the chest and watched as he bled out. She went on about how She had sent Her son to hell and begged Lucifer to do something about it. He had told Her that not even he would be able to get Crowely out of hell. (He really couldn't. Not even Lucifer Morningstar could stand against the entirety of hell successfully. And everyone down there  _ hated  _ Crowley and would destroy him if given the chance.)

Amenadiel took some convincing that Crowley was, in fact, their youngest brother (that heavenly brainwashing is really quite impressive) but admitted that it made sense he might be one to want to prevent armageddon. It took a warning glance from Lucifer to not mention that Crowley’s husband, “Mr. Fell” as Mother called him, wasn’t exactly human (seriously,  _ everyone _ knew about that relationship now (except, apparently, the Goddess of all creation)) and thank  _ Someone _ he understood. Lucifer would explain why later. No use sending Her back there to cause more trouble. Possibly to get far more permanent results. Lucifer already sent her there once. He didn’t want to be responsible for her going there and succeeding in her goals..

Through her sobbing and ranting, Lucifer had had to pretend to be upset about his brother’s death. All the while he had his doubts. Crowely was clever. Far too clever to be killed that easily. You didn’t survive 6000 years on earth by being stupid. 

Clearly Mum didn’t think so. She was absolutely certain he had died lying on the sidewalk. Well… She had perfectly proven that She didn’t know Her son anywhere near as well as She thought. Not surprising when she had refused to accept that ‘Raphael’ wasn’t ‘Raphael’ anymore.

Despite his certainty that Crowley had outwitted the Goddess, he felt the need to check. Just because he survived didn’t mean everything was ok. Mum could do a lot of damage, even if not in the way she intended.

That is how he found himself: alone in the penthouse, phone pressed against his ear, and freehand twitching much more than he would ever admit.

The phone rang three times before the receiver clicked. “Crowely’s phone! Warlock speaking!” a voice chirped.

“Warlock? Really? Did your parents hate you?” Lucifer said. 

“Oi! fuck you too mate! Did  _ your _ parents hate  _ you _ ?” 

“Well as a matter of fact-“ Lucifer started, slightly amused and taken aback by the speaker’s audacity- a  _ teenager _ by the sound of it. He was cut off by another voice laughing on the other end.

“Would you give me that?” There was a shuffling noise of a phone being passed over before Crowley’s voice came through, much clearer and louder now. “Crowley. Who’s this?”

“Well, good to know Mum was wrong about killing you, brother!” Lucifer said. That definitely was not relief that he felt flood his stomach. Absolutely not. 

There was a sound like breaking pottery and Crowley cursed in a language old enough that Lucifer didn’t care enough to identify it.

“Hey, Hellspawn? Give me a minute?” There was a pause presumably in which the child from before spoke. “‘M fine,” Crowley said. “Go bother your god dad.” Another pause. “Your other god dad, smartass.” The overwhelming fondness in Crowely’s voice was startling. There was another longer pause before he spoke again, this time to Lucifer, gentleness gone now. “What’d you want?”

“I wanted to see if my brother had actually found himself bested for once!” Lucifer said. “It’s not often that happens and I thought I might have to hand it to Mum getting the drop on you!”

What Lucifer didn’t say was ‘I wanted to see if you had actually been killed. I would have felt responsible if you had. I wouldn’t have known how to live with myself. I feel guilty as it is.’ 

“Right,” Crowely’s flat tone sounded slightly disbelieving then it shifted to something closer to defensive, “Look, if you’re calling on the Goddess’s behalf trying to convince me to go back to heaven—“

“I wouldn’t dream of it brother! She doesn’t even know you’re alive.”

“And you did?”

“Well, I strongly suspected. With as few times as you’ve actually gotten yourself killed, it seemed suspicious that that would have actually worked,” Lucifer said. 

“Mm,” Crowley said. 

Silence stretched for an uncomfortably long time. Lucifer wanted to say something but he really wasn’t sure what to say now. This was the first time they had properly spoken in so long. What could he say to bridge a millennia old gap?

Luckily he was saved when Crowley said, “s’pose Im lucky she used a human weapon. I was able to give the appearance of bleeding out but heal up pretty easy.” Lucifer imagined Crowley (he didn’t actually know what Aziraphale I looked like so he just imagined Crowley) bleeding facedown on the pavement until Mother was just far enough away. Then sitting up, pulling the knife from his chest, more exasperated than anything, and healing the wound before any real damage was done. Vanishing away the pool of blood and continuing on as if nothing had happened. Crowley had faked his death before and that’s usually how he described the general process.

“Yes I  _ had _ wondered about that,” Lucifer said. “Why not use an ethereal blade or something actually capable of killing celestials? Trying to kill an angel with a mortal knife seems like a bit of an oversight.”

“Don’t think She recognized him. Aziraphale was only made a bit before the war then stayed mostly on earth. Not many in heaven really know what he looks like. Just the name. Hell of a reputation.” (Lucifer notes the hint of pride in his brother’s voice, talking about his husband.) Lucifer supposed that what Crowely said was true. He couldn’t honestly bring up a memory of ever meeting the Guardian of the Eastern Gate. Just the reputation he held. And the reports Crowley had given about thwarting and being thwarted by an agent of heaven at every turn. Those reports were much more amusing now, knowing the Serpent’s actual opinions on his adversary. “Absolute bastard of an angel” was probably never exactly an insult, rather the descriptions from a love sick idiot trying desperately to hide his crush.

Crowley continued, jarring Lucifer from his thoughts. “She just assumed he was human from the beginning ‘n’ I went with it. Sssafer that way.”

“Well done then, brother.”

“Thanksss.”

“Yes of course!.”

There was another long stretch of silence.

Lucifer steeled his nerves, tapping his fingers on the bar, before saying “You know, Crowley, once everything with Mum has blown over, maybe you could come visit Los Angeles.” He only waited half a second for Crowley to respond before continuing. “The temptations here really are quite phenomenal, you know. I’d be interested to see what you could come up with.”

There was a beat of heavy silence. “Is that an order from my king?”

Lucifer felt a pang in his chest at the suspicion in his brother’s voice. Crowley truly thought Lucifer might force him. It made his stomach clench unpleasantly.

“No,” Lucifer said firmly. “It is an invitation from your brother. You don’t need to accept, but… well, it’s there. If you ever want it.”

There was a stretch of silence. Lucifer waited, almost holding his breath for Crowley’s answer.

“Thanksss Lu. I’ll consider it. Jussst let me know when the Goddess is gone. I’m not risking Her hurting Aziraphale or our humans.”

Lucifer nodded and said “Very well, brother. I will let you know when everything is resolved, then!” 

“Right. Great,” Crowley said.

Lucifer felt a flutter of hope and excitement in his chest. He hadn’t really been expecting Crowley to agree. Much less so quickly or easily. Buoyed by his elation, Lucifer added “Oh and Crowley?” He waited for a grunt to confirm his brother was listening. “Feel free to bring your Principality around as well. I’d like to officially meet my brother-in-law sometime.”

“Ngk-sss mmm. Ok. Yeah. Maybe.” Crowley said, spluttering, much to Lucifer’s amusement. Crowley had always been rubbish at relationships. 

“Stay in touch, brother,” Lucifer said, not bothering to hide the smile on his face.

“Right. You too.” Then the phone clicked off.

Lucifer grinned even wider now. Not only was his little brother alive, but he seemed willing to try and make amends. He had begun to lose hope of that ever happening. He would never admit it but Lucifer had missed his brother: his chaos, his humor… the presence and support of someone understood the trauma they shared..

It had been thousands of years but maybe now they had a chance to fix things. Lucifer was certainly going to try.

— 

A few months after the whole ordeal with the Goddess, Crowley was on the couch in the back room, head in Aziraphale’s lap as the angel carded his fingers through Crowley’s hair. Aziraphale was reading aloud as he always did when they found themselves in this position. Today it was  _ Frankenstein _ . Crowley was beginning to nod off, only just awake enough to make the occasional comment on unethical medical practices, earning himself a playful tug on his hair and a loving “I know, dear,” or a playful disagreement. Aziraphale smiled down at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, and he didn’t think he could have been happier.

Crowley had almost fallen asleep entirely when his phone buzzed. With a soft growl, he took it out and looked at the message. The caller ID was simply a devil emoji and the message was a string of assorted emojis. Of course he knew who it was immediately. Crowley blinked at the screen. He absolutely did not put that in as the contact name. He hadn’t even saved the number in his phone. Hadn't thought there would really be any more correspondence. Shaking his head, Crowely typed out his reply. 

  
  


_ Crowley: concerning that I understood what that all meant. _

The reply came a few moments later.

😈 _ : Well at least someone did! had to explain it to Amenadiel _

_ Crowley: so She’s gone then? _

😈 _ : to an entirely different universe! All good! _

_ Crowley: anyone hurt? _

There was a longer wait for the response. 

😈 _ : my therapist Linda. Mum burned her with holy light trying to get information _

Therapist? Good for Lucifer. Never would have expected that. Every celestial in existence probably needed therapy.

Crowley was getting ready to respond when another message came through.

😈 _ : she’s fine now though! Amenadiel and Maze got her to the hospital. Benjamin is helping her recover. _

Crowley stared at the screen a moment. He decided not to ask who Benjamin was. With Lucifer, he probably didn’t want to know. No. He  _ definitely _ didn’t want to know. Then something else occurred to him. 

_ Crowley: Mazikeen?!  _

_ Crowley: Amenadiel?! _

__

What was Mazekine doing on Earth? And what was she doing saving a human? Sure she might  _ enjoy _ parts of humanity but actually  _ caring _ about one…? On that note, what was Amenadiel doing saving humans? Crowley had thought he held the same contempt for humans that most angels did. Even if he was kinder to lower angels than the other Archangels tended to be.

😈 _ : yes! Quite attached to the good doctor! Mum May be lucky she doesn’t need to deal with that particular fallout _

Crowley had to agree with that sentiment. He pitied anyone on Mazikeen and Amenadiel’s bad side. Especially both of them together… 

He tried to think of a reply but Lucifer sent another message.

😈 _ : you know, the offer still stands for you to come visit _

😈: _ now Mum is gone _

Crowley sighed and rubbed his face. That was as close as Lucifer would get to outright asking him to come. Lucifer would never actually admit to wanting to see his brother. He was too proud for that. Crowley hadn’t thought that Lucifer  _ would _ want to see him, after everything. 

Was that really where his brother was? Asking for company from a traitor? How desperate must he-?

“Are you alright dear?” Aziraphale asked. At some point he had stopped reading and set the book aside, staring down at Crowley in concern. Based on the look he was giving him, Crowley thought that Aziraphale had guessed who was messaging.

He had told Aziraphale everything after the Goddess had assaulted him in the shop. He hadn’t told him before because he hadn’t wanted to panic the angel unnecessarily, but that had backfired quite spectacularly. 

If Crowley were honest, the Goddess was lucky she was still alive after what she did. She was lucky it hadn’t happened after she tried burning down the shop. Or when she had harassed his kids.

Crowley looked up at clear blue eyes, looking at him with so much love it almost hurt.

“Yeah, Angel. I’m fine.” He sat up and angled his body towards his husband, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Uhh- Lisssten, I er- I think I might need to go to LA for a few days.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you need to skip the blood mention stop where it says “ s’pose Im lucky she used a human weapon.” Until where it says “Crowley had faked his death before and that’s usually how he described the general process.“  
> You don’t miss much by skipping this. Just knowing how Crowley tricked the Goddess and Lucifer noting to himself that he doesn’t know what Aziraphale looks like.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Crowley was using British Sign Language to talk to Adam without the Goddess knowing what he was saying. Adam realized She was divine in someway and Crowley just told him something to the effect of "She is what you think She is. I'll explain later."
> 
> Tracer is a nickname for Tracia. She is Newt and Anathama's daughter. She's about five years old. Crowley and Aziraphale are babysitting and the Them+ Warlock are helping.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. This fic will probably be about 3ish chapters but I also have plans to make this a series. Next up is the Goddess's attempts to manipulate Crowley into going back to heaven.


End file.
